Thanks for writing this, I was going to post the same. The gray cloud for me ended up being depression and a chemical imbalance. Some therapy and medication sorted me out. Find purpose, try to find happiness, Awesome Stay Negative Shirt isn’t that long. Good Luck OP. Honestly the design of school is part of this. The overly repetitive nonsense isn’t inspiring and it shouldn’t be. Focus on other things. School is just a silly requirement to get a job you don’t want to buy things you don’t want to work for your entire life instead of enjoying it. Sounds like depression my dude. I’ve been there for a long time. You just don’t care about anything, nothing excites you, nothing interests you, you’re just sort of floating on by doing what you need to to survive and what people expect of you.
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and i worry that my lack of feeling isn’t enough for my partner, and i worry about myself too, because i wasn’t always like this. i don’t know what happened. I genuinely implore you to reach out for help. I’m not Awesome Stay Negative Shirt diagnose you, obviously. All I know is my own struggle with mental health, depression specifically, and I have struggled with similar things you’re talking about. It can and will get better. Seeing someone even though it’s scary is so worth it. You don’t have to tell your partner everything, however if you want their help I’m sure they’ll be by your side to help you do what you need/want to. There’s bo shame in therapy or medicine, it can literally save you. It has for me.
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