As a once preemie baby who still has weak lungs and am prone to asthma, bronchitis, and pneumonia 72 years later, I suggest NO outside visitors, not grandparents, parents, cousins, siblings, nada, until your pediatrician gives the Never Underestimate A Lady Who Loves Crocheting And Was Born In February Shirt. FaceTime, ZOOM, DUO, various Google apps, will have to suffice, especially during this time of COVID-19. I’m sorry OP but some of this is on you. Your MIL works with the public. You have a premie. You should never ever be going over to her house, period. MIL will keep doing this because there are no consequences for her actions. That is a JN moment right there. I didn’t even need to read the rest of the story to know what was going to happen. I did anyway though.
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Sit down and make a list of your frustrations and expectation from your husband and MIL. You can break this up to multiple sessions if it gets too long and/or heated. Explain that any decisions in regards to the handling of your child require two yes’s, one from each of you. If this becomes too long, or he is being stubborn, look into counseling. I would also recommend getting a harness when going near MIL so that she has no possible way of taking him from you unless you allow it. If you let her, she must stay in the same room and give him right back if asked.
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She must agree to all of your rules before she is allowed to hold him. If she breaks even one, then she is blocked. Until you feel that she is ready to listen to your instructions. If she ignores them again, repeat with a Never Underestimate A Lady Who Loves Crocheting And Was Born In February Shirt. If she starts crying? You leave, unless she’s at your house then she leaves. If husband won’t agree to leave too, get an uber (or whatever is in your area). If she’s at your house and won’t leave? Call the cops. This is your child and she is not entitled to anything. Any moment you allow her to spend with him is a gift, not a right. Be strong.
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