My cat’s favorite thing to do is literally run up my body when I am sitting, Sometimes I Question My Sanity But My Cats Told Me I’m Fine Shirt and get right up in my face, and either try to put her head in my mouth, bite my nose, or try to bite & steal my glasses. She gets plenty of attention & pets, she’s just a crazy little idiot. I have my cats roam free outside. I pretty much feed them and cuddle with them because they take care of their walks and shit by themselves. This just happened a few minutes ago. I was laying on my couch and my cat decided to jump up and lay on my chest.
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I had just eaten lunch, which was a chicken salad sandwich. So naturally, my cat was intrigued by the smell and wanted to get a good whiff. He was sniffing around my face heavily, almost comically. I was feeling pretty generous at that time so I got the brilliant idea to open my mouth really wide to let him enjoy, but also because I was curious how far he would venture in. You know, normal pet owner stuff. He got his head about halfway in when suddenly he decided to let out a violent and very wet sneeze right into my mouth. I’m fucking disgusted, and the weekend has been ruined before it even started.
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I’m been speculated that cats use the cysts the parasite forms in the human brain as a form of mind control over humans. In fact, it’s possible that the entire internet was conceived through subconscious programming via toxoplasmosis. This explains the preponderance of cat pictures and memes. The reason why they get bitey or will scratch you is that they aren’t dependent on humans like dogs are. They are self-sufficient for stuff and largely independent. We as humans never bred that out of them because they serve an important role as pest control. Little tiny sadistic murder machines that keep mice and bugs out of your house.